My second child came along and it was a boy. There are so many lessons I have planned for my children as they grow. For both many are important. But I want to teach my son to be independent and respectful.
Never let your actions be dictated by your libido.
Remember ‘No’ means ‘No’ and learn when someone is incapable of giving consent.
I want to teach my son, your actions define who you are.
Not your friends, not your money, not your car, nothing else.
Be sincere.
Do not make a promise you cannot keep and keep every promise you make.
Intelligence is so very important.
For you and for the person you marry. Looks is a not everything. Being able to have a deep meaningful conversation is.
Find what you want, don’t live idly.
Make goals and strive for them.
You are not entitled.
Do not act like you deserve anything you have not earned.
The feeling of accomplishment after you have worked for what you have is the best feeling ever.
Work, save, and never use others.
Learn all household tasks.
It is nobody else’s job to cook or clean for you, or to do your laundry.
Keep your living space clean.
I want to teach my son that it does not have to be spick and span but you should be able to see the floor, dirty laundry should be in the hamper, and dishes should be in the sink or dishwasher, nowhere else.
It is alright to cry, it is alright to show emotion.
Be strong but let it all go around the right people. That may be your family, your spouse, your best friend, someone. Make sure you have someone in your life at all times that you’re able to open to. You father and I are always one.
Your spouse can and should be your world, along with any future kids you have, but they are not your universe.
Keep hobbies, keep friends, and keep other things that make you happy, it is important to take breaks and live your own life.
Sex is not everything and it’s not just about you.
I want to teach my son that sex is a mutual act. Pay attention to your partner, what they like, don’t and always remember to stop if they ask you to or even act like they’re not into it.
Watching porn is not shameful but remember moderation is important.
Porn can actually teach you a lot about how to please your partner. But, it’s not a replacement for consensual sex with a partner actively participating.
Save money, but do not be stingy, buy what you need when you need it.
It’s okay to splurge every once in awhile but saving money and having reserves for emergencies is a MUST.
It is okay to lose.
You will not learn and grow if you are always winning and always on top.
Do not be afraid to question anyone.
They may be wrong or they may be right and teach you something. Always be open to others knowledge but do not take everything at face value. If something does not make logical sense to you then study, read, and learn all you can. Make sure you learn facts before you judge anyone or anything.
Never go to bed angry.
Always say “I Love You” before you leave and always say “I Love You” even if you’re angry.
Feminist is not a bad word and it is okay for men to be feminist.
Support the women around you. Help them gain equality. Do what you can to support them.
Do not get into an argument while drunk.
Honesty is risky when drunk because it comes out aggressive. If there’s something that needs to be said it needs to be said in a calm sober self.
Pick your battles.
Do not be afraid to speak up when you need to but know the right time and place to do so.
Read
Never stop learning and bettering yourself. Read about history, culture, music, learn something new everyday.
Apologize when you’re in the wrong and do not be afraid to admit when you’re wrong.
It says a lot about a man that is able to admit he’s wrong and learn from it.
Remember that you may be wrong.
Be open to others point of views, faiths, and opinions. But also remember, they may be wrong too, man is flawed and there rarely is 100% fact.
Be honest to your spouse.
Do not lie even if you think it may hurt their feelings.
Embrace your sexuality.
No matter what it may be, I will be here supporting you.
Wait for the one you love and cannot live without.
Give yourself time to make sure that person is the one before you get married.
Everyone is your equal.
You are no better regardless of gender, race, sexuality, religion, anything. Be respectful to everyone.
Do not be afraid to say “I love you” when you feel it.
Don’t throw “I Love you” around willynilly. It’s not a means to convince a partner into anything. It’s not a way to manipulate people. It should be said when you truly are committed and in love with your partner.
Do not be late.
I realize you cannot always control what may make you late. But you must always be respectful of other people’s time. If you set an appointment and are expected somewhere then make sure you are there on time. You can control yourself and you can control giving yourself enough time for emergencies and contingencies.
Do not let fear hold you back.
Sarah
40 Things I Want to Teach My Daughter
