As a mom, it can be really hard to make friends. You want to find a friend who has a lot in common, this usually can mean another mom. Someone that understands your odd schedule. Someone that understands your days on end rants about screeching babies, potty training, diaper changes, and cartoon movies on repeat. Mom’s need a confidante other than their husbands and it just fits that it be another mom.
This need to find a mom friend has been described as “mom dating” and I think that is so perfect and so obnoxiously true. I honestly thought that when my husband asked me to marry him and we made it down the aisle I’d be finished with dating. I’d be finished with the awkward small talk. I’d be done with the random probing questions trying to see if we were a good fit. I really did think I’d be done with online dating apps. Oh, God almighty I was wrong. They now have dating apps for moms trying to find moms friends.
Mom-Dating App: PEANUT
I have tried the Peanut App for a couple months now. It is a similar concept to Tinder. You swipe up or down to either like or dislike the possible match. I never used Tinder. It made its appearance after I started dating my, now husband, but I actually find it a very shallow way to find a match. There is the option to look at a more in depth profile before you swipe either way but it gives the option of choosing just based off picture and very minimal initial information.
When you create a profile, you’ll fill out all kinds of information about you and your kids. You put their ages and the number of kids you have. You’ll post pictures and say a very short blurb about you. All the information shows on your profile.
My immediate profile for others on the app looks like below. As you look through possible matches in your area you either swipe up to ‘wave’ at them or swipe down for ‘maybe later.’ I try not to be too shallow and judgmental. I hate the idea of judging a book by its cover. I think perhaps that’s one reason I do not like apps like this. I don’t want to judge others so quickly I don’t like the idea of others judging me quickly either. Perhaps seeing a mom that’s so well kept in the picture I may think ‘God I’m going to have to keep up with that.’ It’s hard not to judge on first impressions. I’m willing to try conversations and see how it goes, see if there truly is a connection.
After you ‘wave’ at your potential connection the app tells you that you should send a message to them.
I have tried a conversation with multiple people, really around 10 different women, 2 replied. Of that two I had a conversation with one over a couple days then it just ended. The other I had a couple back and forth messages and that was it. I’ve tried reconnecting and have had no response.
Now I’m a likable person, or else I like to believe I am.
I do not think anyone intentionally is ignoring me, or intentionally decided they didn’t want to talk to me. I think moms are busy. I know moms are busy. I know conversations and apps notifications can get lost in the shuffle of taking care of kids day in and day out.
My take-a-way…
For me, I don’t think an app will get the response I’d like. I do not think I’ll find a meaningful mom friend that way. (I say this fully understanding online dating is successful, my husband and I met online). But there’s a different situation at play between finding your significant other while you’re single and childless, compared to finding a best friend while sleep deprived and busy 24/7 raising children.
I kind of did hope this would be some easy route to finding my new best friend. My one and only amazing mom friend. My perfect fit. As an introvert hiding behind a computer before you really start getting to know someone is nice, but I am sure I just need to put some more work into it. I need to take the kids to activities and instead of keeping to myself I need to actually strike up a conversation with the mom next to me. Now, I know what I need to do, lets see if I can push myself to do it.
It really is a hard task but it must be done if I ever want to find that amazing mom friend everyone tells me is a must have. 😉 (I know, it sounds like a hot commodity).
Sarah.
