When is the right time to get into a serious relationship? It’s an age-old question and everyone has their own opinions as well as the answer will be different to each person as well. But what are the pros and cons of each option? Are the pros to playing the field rather than being monogamous? Are their cons to being monogamous so young in life?
My husband and I met when we were in our late 20s and neither of us were virgins. Also, neither of us have any regrets over our pasts. Why? Because we firmly believe every experience we had, every encounter, helped us grow, evolve, and become who we are today. We also both understand that who we are today is who was perfect for one another, not who we were 10 years ago. We were glad to get the “wild days” behind us and feel now that we’ve experienced those things.
I have done both. I have been in monogamous relationships. Before my husband, the longest was 2 years, and I have just had one-night stands, booty calls, sex buddies, whatever you want to call it. Every experience taught me a lot about myself, what I wanted, what I needed, and who I wanted to be. So, what are the generally acknowledged pros and cons of both paths?
Monogamous versus Non-monogamous Relationships
Trust
Trust is easier found and kept in a monogamous relationship. Having sex and remaining loyal to one person alone can build a trusting relationship without fear, jealousy, or other negative impacts on your emotional health.
However, in a mutually consensual non-monogamous relationship there is a lack of betrayal or dishonesty because expectations are set in a way to avoid these concerns.
Sex and Meaning
When you are consistently in a relationship with one person, having sex with one person, there builds a strong, meaningful, and sex life. Sex builds meaning and feelings between the two.
Sex without meaning or deep feelings is not a bad experience either. Both are experiences worth being had in my opinion and both have their own time and place in our development and sense of needs.
Jealousy
In monogamous relationships the sense of jealousy can become very strong over any encounter. Especially when a sense of monogamy may be built on no sense of trust in the relationship.
What’s the right choice?
That depends on you and only you. No other person should have a say or opinion on how you live your life. If you want to safely have sex with multiple partners, do it. If you want to be in a monogamous relationship and be committed to just one person, do it. But, as others are keeping out of your business for your decision you should be doing the same for them.
Live your own life and make your own decisions about relationships and sex. Just remember one thing. Be safe.
Sarah
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